CBD is the Snake Oil of the 21st Century

Grab Me a Bag of Chips, a Soda, and, Oh, some CBD Suppositories

By James Terminiello


I was recently ambling about in one of New Jersey's larger malls when I came upon a bank of vending machines. Nestled between one offering a blood-pressure-raising array of highly-salted chips and another with the latest in a Johnstown Flood of carbonated beverages was one offering CBD products ... and only CBD products.

Oils ... salves ... creams ... ointments ... mists ... powders and gummies of all types, colors, and sizes. Each of them waiting for the mere swipe of your credit card to unlock their riches to make your skin shine, your stress to evaporate, your pain to become a memory, your anxiety to flutter away, and those nights without sleep to become nothing more than a fading dream.

The only thing I did not see was a packet of CBD suppositories!

I thought it particularly ironic that this CBD machine was bracketed by two others offering voluptuously anti-nourishing products of little value and at high mall prices.  

I acknowledge that we are currently in the CBD honeymoon period where this wonder substance can be wheeled out to thwart absolutely anything. Bad marriage? CBD 'em. Wind-power not delivering on its promise? You need more CBD! War in Ukraine? Clearly there is a paucity of CBD in the diets of the contenders.

I can't help but recall the days of the snake oil salesman of the old wild west rolling into a backwater town with his garishly painted wagon and bedraggled horse.

Come one! Come all!

Dr. Flagrantissimus Mendax

and his prodigious tonic

Ficticium

Once horded by the kings of Persia, the Pharaohs of Egypt, and Socrates himself now made available to you for the miniscule sum of

One Dollar

Among the 1,001 Cures

baldness, the gout, goiters, the French disease, hiccups, poverty, bad teeth, women's complaints, naughty children, the barber's itch, and lover's distress.

The wonders of Ficticium never cease!

Who will dare not to try it?


There may come a day when this CBD wonder drug mania simmers down to a slow boil but for now this substance, that can apparently defy gravity, can do no wrong ... and somehow that just doesn't seem right.

By the way, remember that crack I made about CBD suppositories? Well, apparently its true. (1) I, for one, feel better already!

Author James Terminiello, whose latest book “Junkyard” will be published in the Fall, writes from Mount Laurel, New Jersey 

(1) https://pacificroots.com/product-category/suppositories/



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