Elon Musk Asked to Tackle Goverment Inefficiency

Trump Taps Musk to Head a Government Efficiency Commission 




By James Terminiello 

 

Candidate Donald Trump has suggested that, if elected, he would ask firebrand entrepreneur Elon Musk to head a “Government Efficiency Commission.”  As laudable a goal as that might seem, the timing of Trump’s announcement is politically foolish.  There is not one bureaucrat, assistant to a bureaucrat, bedmate of a bureaucrat, or contractor to a bureaucrat who does not know that the federal government spends money like a fleet of drunken sailors, only with much less self-control.  Trump’s notion alienates a whole class of people (read voters) who know that their cashflow might be in jeopardy should Musk be unleashed.  

 

And if Trump only lost a bit of his ear to a would-be assassin, there might not even be a Muskian ear lobe left should he incur the wrath of the bureaucracy.  

 

In another time and place (the 1970s and 80s to be exact) onetime Senator William Proxmire handed out the Golden Fleece Awards in an attempt to chide public officials for squandering the people’s money.  In one instance, the Federal Aviation Administration spent $57,000 on a study of the physical measurements of 432 airline stewardesses, including the distance from knee to knee when sitting.  Ah well, boys will be boys, and I for one would like to know the results of that essential investigation.  But let’s face it, today $57,000 would barely cover the cost of the hot buffet at a meeting to discuss the lack of DEI programs in Beauregard Parrish, Louisiana. 

 

Should Musk accept the job (and hire enough security guards) his investigations would take him anywhere and everywhere.  Here are some examples. 


The Rural Electrification Administration was set up in 1935 to bring electricity to rural areas. The job is done but the REA lives on in our hearts and pockets.   

 

In 2022, the federal government spent $6 million to boost tourism in Egypt. One would have thought that Egypt might want to shoulder that burden, but what do I know?   

 

There are roughly 750 U.S. military bases in more than 80 countries. It may be possible to shut down 1, 5, 20 with no noticeable change in our global security. (I’d keep my eyes on those underhanded heathens in Monaco, but that may just be me.)  

 

$518,000, and perhaps more, went into an investigation of the effect that cocaine has on the sexual behavior of Japanese quails. Now, I know they were trying to relate this to the behavior of us humans, but I am here to report that the number of self-hating Japanese quails hanging about sleazy bars has come down dramatically ... in my experience.  

 

This small and very random sampling is enough to show that the problem is everywhere. If Elon started today, he and several generations of Musks, might not finish until the 24th century ... if ever.  

 

I have a solution.   

 

On the assumption that government waste is endemic, why not attack the whole problem at once.  The federal budget for fiscal year 2023 was $6.1 trillion. Why not, for all federal programs, require a 1% cut in spending. I know, it punishes the good with the bad. But didn’t we all experience that in grade school when one kid misbehaved and all were punished?  

 

I agree it is not a good system, but the upshot is: a 1% cut saves $61 billion.  Very exclusive chump change to be sure.

 

And Elon does not have to form a commission or risk being fired at by every bureaucrat in Washington.  

 


James Terminiello, author of the social satires The Conscience of the C.O.D. and Junkyard, writes from Mount Laurel, New Jersey  

 


 














 

 

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